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BlackCapeRED
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Name: Sanjay
Country: United States
State: North Carolina
Metro: Chapel Hill
Birthday: 2/13/1986
Gender: Male
Interests: Swimming, video games, sleeping, soccer (though I desperately need to improve), strangely really into philosophy lately, introspection, psychology, photoshop (need to learn that), music (always have something playing, and someday I'll get around to playing the guitar).
Expertise: I'm a swim beast in the freestyle and butterfly, but that's just at NCSSM. I'm good at slacking off. I spend a lot of time analysing my life, so I'd say my hindsight is pretty good. I seem to be able to fix most problems that aren't my own.
Occupation: Student
Message: message meEmail: email me
AIM:  blackcapered
Member Since:
2/26/2003
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| Jesse Jackson, while visiting a primary school class, found himself in
the middle of a discussion related to words and their meanings. The
teacher asks the Rev. Jackson if he would like to lead the discussion
on the word "tragedy."
So, the illustrious leader asks the class for an example of a
"tragedy." One little boy stood up and offered: "If my best friend, who
lives on a farm, is playing in the field and a runaway tractor comes
along and knocks him dead, that would be a tragedy.
"No," says the Great Jesse Jackson, "that would be an accident."
A little girl raised her hand: "If a school bus carrying 50 children
drove over a cliff, killing everyone inside, that would be a tragedy."
"I'm afraid not," explains the exalted spiritual leader. "T at's what we would call a great loss."
The room goes silent. No other children volunteer. Rev. Jackson
searches the room. "Isn't there someone here who can give me an example
of a tragedy?"
Finally, at the back of the room, a small boy raises his hand. In a
quiet voice he says: "If a plane carrying the Rev. Jackson were struck
by a missile and blown to smithereens that would be a tragedy."
"Fantastic!" exclaims Jackson, "That's right. And can you tell me why that would be a tragedy?!"
"Well," says the boy, "because it sure as hell wouldn't be a great loss, and it probably wouldn't be an accident either." | | |
| Four months later, and it begins again. Go me. Go team!
I'm doing much better. I don't sulk as much, if at all. I
guess it really takes something huge to put a period at the end of the
part of your life that you wish you could've done better. For me,
it was something of a near-death experience. But I feel much
better now, both physically and emotionally. I think it's only
getting brighter from here on out. Take this break and make it as
fun as possible and then I'll be a new man and I'll have that strength
to lay the track straight. Yeah, that's it. Huah.
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| Everyone's better than me. They've all got something to show off
with. They've all got some talent or cool job or a ton of
money. They've all got something to really impress a significant
other. They've all got a reason for people to gravitate to them.
I have none of these. So how do I mean anything to anybody?
What am I good for? What is my purpose in life? Am I
really here just to make other people look good and feel good about
themselves? Am I really here just to be the guy standing in
the corner of the room? Am I just here to be a sap on my
parents? Am I destined to always just tag along with a group and no one will talk to me? | | |
| So, yeah, it's official.....I'm a fucking idiot.
I can't do anything right, or, at least, every time I do something
right I do something equally wrong to balance it out. But that
doesn't mean that every time I do something wrong I do something
equally right. No no, there's none of than yin-yang balance in my
life.
I feel like the longer I'm around, the more I'll mess people's days
up. The only service I provide is being a driver. And,
surely, someone can take my place. I'm not the only one with a
car.
So I went to Chapel Hill this weekend, and nothing really went as
planned. Everything got messed up and it's all my fault.
And now it'll be something like ages before I get to come back and
reconcile things. This is classified as a true Royal Fuck Up.
I'll just stay in my room from now on.
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| Today was pretty swell. Work was pretty good because I really
didn't have to do anything due to machinery being broken. But I
got to explore the woods of Virgina and tried to climb a tree or two.
But I realized that I've done something that I told myself I'd never do
again. I caused someone a great deal of pain. Twice it's
been someone very close to me, and it bugs me that I don't learn.
But I swear that I will make things right, if it's the last thing I do.
So, to you, I'm sorry.
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